Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
