You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
