I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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