Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
