dude i'm inner monologue high
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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