im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
