i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
