areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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