We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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