I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
