you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
