I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
