Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
