I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
