he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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