Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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