so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
