Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
