this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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