Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
