I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
