I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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