Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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