part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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