They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
