i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
