I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
