why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
and she was petting her beer can
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
