and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
