i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
