Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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