I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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