I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize