so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it's like heaven, but drunker
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I love you. Go after that dick
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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