thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
