PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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