Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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