I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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