Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
