Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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