In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
