Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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