Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
