Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
