shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
