just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Randomize
