Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
this is an emotional support booty call
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