I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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