I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
