i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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