He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
