Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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