I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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